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Cow doesn’t want to give milk.

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Most people assume that milking a cow is a relaxing thing. But imagine if the cow resists. Chasing the cow across the field, tackling it down to the dewy grass, trying to squirt some milk into a glass bottle while the cow struggles. Just a thought.

Hey, maybe this could be a Geico commercial: “You’re a rebel cow. Unlike other cows, you resist and struggle in giving up your milk. It’s what you do.”

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What is corned beef?

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Ordering sandwich at the deli:
Me: “What is corned beef?”
Deli-meister: “It’s a beef that has been cured.”
Me: “Cured?!”
Deli-meister: “Yes, for example, today’s beef was suffering from chicken-pox. After 2 weeks of rest, it is now cured. We also have a special pastrami that was suffering from a broken leg. It should be fully recovered and ready by tomorrow.”
Me: “Hmm…”
Deli-meister: “Next week we have a very special pastrami that should be fully recovered from malaria.”
Me: “I think I’ll have the salad.”

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Hi Conan – Request from a Conan O’Brien look alike:

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Hi Conan,

Are you going to have another Conan O’Brien look-alike contest? I’m Danny Dechi, and everywhere I go, people think I’m Conan O’Brien. I’m tired of being stopped by people and explaining to them that I’m not you! You’ll notice that my pictures on the Internet look exactly like you, but they’re actual photographs of me!

I was wondering if I can be on your show while wearing a red tie, then we can stand side by side, and then show people that whenever they see me, they can tell that I’m not Conan O’Brien because I’m wearing a red tie, which means you can never wear a red tie. So, what do you think?

Danny Dechi

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What?! Katy Perry in Super Bowl halftime show?!

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Katy Perry in the Super Bowl halftime show?! It’s a football game! It’s not a place for little girls music! The Super Bowl is a place where tough men play, a field where bones may break, and blood will spill. At least get some real women who rock, like Pat Benatar, or Joan Jett, or Twisted Sister! But Katy Perry?! That’s like putting a merry-go-round on a pirate ship! Or a boxer raising his hand during the middle of the fight to be excused so that he can take a wee wee in the little boys room.

Year after year it’s the same thing with this little girls music. Who are you aiming for in the ratings, men, or all those Oprahs out there? C’mon NFL! Be a man. Don’t turn the Super Bowl into a Martha Stewart show!

Is Katy Perry popular just because she sang some lame song “I kissed a girl”? Who didn’t kiss a girl, except for those sissys who planned the Super Bowl halftime show!

This is the kind of music that should be on a halftime show: Twisted Sister
not this: Katy Perry
By the way hopscotch fans, here’s the original “I kissed a girl” – Original: I kissed a girl
Booya!

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