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Tag Archives: politics

Message from Fred

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Hi! You all know me as cartoon legend Fred Flintstone. You know, living in the stone age is really not fun and laughs as has been portrayed in my cartoons. That’s all Hollywood. Just like in those beer commercials, with all those sexy people having good times, but what actually happens with alcohol is, you lose friends for being a jerk, you can lose your job, and wind up dying alone in the wilderness. Hey, that pretty much sums up the stone age! Anyway, living in the stone age is quite the opposite of fun. You have to put up with elephants hogging up the whole lake and doing any disgusting thing that they want in it, there’s no healthcare, and if you want something done for your tribe, there’s no government to help you. You are all on your own. And this is what Republicans want, to bring back the stone age, except for themselves. I much rather live like the Jetsons, don’t you? So, please vote BLUE on November 3rd, so we can get all of those stinking elephants out of the lake. I’m Fred Flintstone’s stunt double, and I approve of this message.

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Donald Trump’s Supreme Court nominee

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Hello Americans,
Today I am announcing the new Supreme Court Justice. I don’t remember his name at the moment, but he’s a very nice man, a lovely man, who will pass some bigly laws with his gavel. He has a beautiful, shiny gavel. He made it himself from a magnificent redwood tree. If you saw his amazing gavel, you would be amazed.

And he looks so fantastic in his robe, which he also made himself. When he was young, he worked in the circus, and he borrowed his fellow trapeze artist’s…God rest his soul…cape to make a beautiful robe, because he hoped that one day he would be a great judge for the Supreme Court.

We both talked about making a law to give women the right to vote. I’ll leave that up to him. I won’t influence him on that. He’s the expert, so I’ll let him decide if women should vote.

This wonderful candidate for Supreme Court judge is just like you and me. Has his own business. His clothes hanger factory has been struggling, but he has great expectations that this year sales will be off the charts.

Speaking of charts, I really love waffles, with their fruit spread and powdered sugar. Waffles with powdered sugar is amazing. I can’t get enough of that powdered sugar. Watch out if I don’t get powdered sugar on my waffles! Let go my ego…heh, heh, heh. I wish everything was made of waffles, except waffle cones. I don’t like those sharp points.
♫ I read the news today, oh boy.♫

That’s my time folks. I gotta lot of tremendous work to do today, and I got a new shipment of pens.
Good night.

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Lazy Democrats, go out and vote!

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Hey, Democrats! Don’t be lazy, go out and vote! The Republicans vote. That’s why we end up with a bunch of lunatic monsters like Donald “why can’t we use nukes” Trump, Mike Pence, Sarah Palin, Ted Cruz, Rick Santorum, and various other assorted nuts.

So sorry that you can’t vote on your smartphones. I wish we could, not for me, but for you lazy Democrats! Make a sacrifice this November, skip your latte frappuccino macchiato supercalifragilisticexpialidocious with room for cream, and your butternut squash chocolate chip croissant. Take a bottle of water and a banana, get some fresh air, and get in line to vote!

And don’t just vote for President you lazy Democrats. This isn’t a dictatorship. You need to vote for Senators, House Representatives, Governor, Mayor, meter maids, etc. But wait there’s more! Every 2 years there are also elections for Senators, House Representatives, Governor, Mayor, meter maids, etc.

Go vote every 2 years you lazy Democrats, so we don’t continue this rollercoaster of majority Democrats one year, then majority Republicans 2 years later, then back and forth every 2 years.

Republicans are against government. Remember, government is Of the people, By the people, and For the people. So if you’re against the government, then you’re against the people and our Democracy. And if we vote for the right people, who knows, maybe one day we will be able to vote on our smartphones, or the chip in our brain.

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Hey, ‪‎Citizens‬ United!‬

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1. Corporations are not people! They don’t even have any DNA! So, corporations are neither people, or animals, or vegetables.

2. Money is not free speech! Just like apples are not free speech, neither are cats, mountains, tires, pancakes, and rectal thermometers!
Besides, the instant that MONEY becomes part of the equation, then FREE goes out the window!
That’s like saying: “Hey Marge, did you know that Steve enjoys punching babies? That means he’s going to be a wonderful parent, right?  👍

Did Ted Cruz eat a booger during the Republican Debate?

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Talking to a friend of mine who is a big Ted Cruz fan:

Me: “Hey, you must be happy Ted Cruz won big yesterday.”

Him: “Yeah…I guess so.”

Me: “You don’t sound very thrilled. I thought you’re Cruz’ biggest fan.”

Him: “Maybe…”

Me: “Wait, you’re not changing your mind because of that booger incident during the debate, are you?”

Him: “It was disgusting! I can’t vote for someone that ate a booger! Think of the leader of our country shaking hands with dignitaries and people!”

Me: “Or kissing a baby!”

Him: “Eww… gross! I’m outta here. Going home to take a shower.”

As my friend leaves, I call out: “All Republicans eat boogers! Look it up on Wikipedia!”

Thank you Wikipedia for allowing people to update your web pages!

Did Ted Cruz eat a booger during the Republican Debate?  👍