MMJ Card?

He: “Yay! I just got my medical marijuana card!”
Me: “What happened? Did you get a paper cut, or did someone hurt your feelings on Facebook?”

Brutally honest?

A friend says to me: “May I be brutally honest with you?”
I say: “Sure.”
Then he beats me up.

Another friend says to me: “May I be brutally frank with you?”
I say: “Sure.”
Then he beats me up… Continue reading

Why did the mime fall off the cliff?

Because someone told him to think outside the box.

April Fools Day!

Today is NOT April Fools Day.
Just kidding, yes it is. Got ya!
Got your nose, too, and threw it into the garbage disposal!
April Fools, again!

Batman vs. Superman movie review

I have seen all of the previous Batman and Superman movies, even though I didn’t expect them to be good, but I will not watch the latest Batman vs. Superman. Just from watching the movie trailer, I can see that… Continue reading

Okay to scold a pregnant woman, but…

While it may be okay to scold a pregnant woman: “Hey, you’re smoking and you’re pregnant?!”…it’s not okay to say the exact same thing to a fat guy.

Did Ted Cruz eat a booger during the Republican Debate?

Talking to a friend of mine who is a big Ted Cruz fan:

Me: “Hey, you must be happy Ted Cruz won big yesterday.”

Him: “Yeah…I guess so.”

Me: “You don’t sound very thrilled. I thought you’re Cruz’ biggest fan.”… Continue reading

Which is more entertaining, Grammy Awards or wall?

Darn that ‪Comcast‬ power outage! I could only watch one channel last night, which was the ‪‎Grammy‬ Awards.
Then I found something more entertaining – Staring at the wall!

Had my taxes done!

Did my annual taxes yesterday, and the tax accountant says I owe the government $200.
So I slip an extra $5 to the tax accountant, and now I’m getting a $57 million refund!

My experience in Super Bowl City!

They really make you feel like a pro football player at the Super Bowl experience, here in Super Bowl City! The moment you walk through the entrance, a 350 pound lineman tackles you to the ground. That was great! There… Continue reading

Coming up!

Showing page 1 of 4 Next

  • Radio Ha Ha
    May 26, 2016
    Worldwide Podcast

  • Laughs on Haight Comedy Showcase!
    May 27, 2016
    Second Act
    San Francisco

  • Comedy and Music Show at Layover!
    May 28, 2016
    The Layover

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