Young Whippersnapper: “…are you listening to me?”

Me: “You lost me at ‘like’ number seven.”

Last night’s Fortune Cookie

Last night’s Fortune Cookie:
“Your future wife is waiting for you…in our kitchen.”

Solar Eclipse

Me: “Hey, look at that solar eclipse!”
Him: “Aaaahhh!!! My retinas are on fire! Aaaahhh!!!”
Me: “April Fools.”
Him: “Aaaahhh!!! But it’s December! Aaaahhh!!!”
Me: “Oops…my bad.”

Veteran applying for job.

Applicant: “Hello, I’m here to apply for the position, and I understand you have Veterans preference.”
Interviewer: “Yes, you’re a Veteran?”
Applicant: “Yes, sir.”
Interviewer: “How many years have you been a Veteran?”
Applicant: “15 years, sir.”
Interviewer: “Army? Navy?… Continue reading

Does anybody know if Donald Trump has a Twitter account?

When I was a kid…

When I was a kid we didn’t have braces. We just got a punch in the face. I got adjustments every two weeks.

Amazon convention

Was so excited that Amazon convention was coming to San Francisco, but later disappointed that it was 
Darn, I was really hoping to meet Wonder Woman!

Recipes probably created by a guy.

Recipes probably created by a guy:
Customer: “Excuse me, Chef. But this pasta is not completely cooked.”
Chef: “Oh, it’s fine, it’s Al dente!”
Customer: “Excuse me, Chef. But this soup is totally cold.”
Chef: “Oh, it’s fine, it’s… Continue reading

Proposition to increase the alphabet.

I propose a new Proposition to increase the alphabet to 38 letters so that there can be more Propositions.

Traditionally on Thanksgiving, the President…

Traditionally on Thanksgiving, the President pardons a turkey.
If Donald Trump becomes President, he will pardon a pumpkin.

Coming up!

Showing page 1 of 4 Next

  • Comedy Showcase at Bazaar Café with Danny Dechi & Friends!
    January 18, 2017
    Bazaar Café
    San Francisco

  • Radio Ha Ha
    January 19, 2017
    Worldwide Podcast

  • Stand-up Comedy Showcase at The Purple Onion at Kells’s!
    January 25, 2017
    The Purple Onion at Kells's
    San Francisco

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