He: “Yay! I just got my medical marijuana card!”
Me: “What happened? Did you get a paper cut, or did someone hurt your feelings on Facebook?”
Today is NOT April Fools Day.
Just kidding, yes it is. Got ya!
Got your nose, too, and threw it into the garbage disposal!
April Fools, again!
While it may be okay to scold a pregnant woman: “Hey, you’re smoking and you’re pregnant?!”…it’s not okay to say the exact same thing to a fat guy.
Talking to a friend of mine who is a big Ted Cruz fan:
Me: “Hey, you must be happy Ted Cruz won big yesterday.”
Him: “Yeah…I guess so.”
Me: “You don’t sound very thrilled. I thought you’re Cruz’ biggest fan.”… Continue reading
Darn that Comcast power outage! I could only watch one channel last night, which was the Grammy Awards.
Then I found something more entertaining – Staring at the wall!
Did my annual taxes yesterday, and the tax accountant says I owe the government $200.
So I slip an extra $5 to the tax accountant, and now I’m getting a $57 million refund!