Funny

Blabbering drunk who fell off his rocking chair…

Watching some blabbering drunk who fell off his rocking chair, then I realized it was Donald Trump. So I switched the channel to Looney Tunes, and I saw another blabbering drunk who fell off his rocking chair, it was Yosemite Sam.

Noisy kids

Parents nowadays quiet their noisy kids by giving each one a smartphone.
When I was a kid, we didn’t have smartphones.
Our parents kept us quiet with a brick to the head.

Peaceful man

My father was a peaceful man.
He would always beat me with an olive branch.

When I was a kid, we didn’t have smartphones…

Parents nowadays quiet their noisy kids by giving each one a smartphone.
When I was a kid, we didn’t have smartphones. Our parents kept us quiet with a brick to the head.

I blame Pokemon Go for…

I blame Pokemon Go for leading me into a massage parlor.

Okay to name a restaurant Pollo Loco, but…

So it’s okay to name a restaurant Pollo Loco, but if someone wants to name their restaurant Mad Cow…”Oh, no! That’s bad!”

Never judge a book by its cover…

Never judge a book by its cover…unless it has a picture of a puppy on fire.

I just realized…

Schmuck, schnook, putz, schlemiel, klutz, schlimazel, nebbish, nudnik, pisher, schmo, yutz.
Man, Jewish people have more words for loser than Eskimos have for snow!

Hey, ‪‎Citizens‬ United!‬

1. Corporations are not people! They don’t even have any DNA! So, corporations are neither people, or animals, or vegetables.

2. Money is not free speech! Just like apples are not free speech, neither are cats, mountains, tires, pancakes, and… Continue reading

Man get swallowed alive by whale.

If a man get swallowed alive by a whale, and nobody can hear him, will a tree fall on him?


Coming up!

Showing page 1 of 4 Next

  • Road to the Funny Fest Co-Finals Comedy Competition!
    August 25, 2016
    Spice Monkey
    Oakland

  • Radio Ha Ha
    August 25, 2016
    FCCFree
    Worldwide Podcast

  • Sunday Funnies at Kawika’s Ocean Beach Deli!
    August 28, 2016
    Kawika's Ocean Beach Deli
    San Francisco


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