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My digital slow cooker talked back to me today:
“I’m not a slow cooker!
You’re a slow cooker!”
Podcast: “So, do you like dogs?”
Me: “Hate them. They’re racist, steal your car, burn down your home, make you break up with your girlfriend, they lie, cheat, steal, and did I mention they’re racist?”
Podcast: “Do you really think dogs are like that?”
Me: “Oh, dogs. I love dogs. They’re the best. I thought you said frogs.”
👍
Olympic Gold Medal diver was asked how he become such an amazing diver.
“I used to be a hot dog vendor on Wall Street. I used to see some fantastic dives.”
You can tell that The Last Supper occurred during the Sabbath, because the TV was turned off.
👍When I was a kid, my Dad left to get cigarettes, but he never came back.
Then I remembered, my dad doesn’t smoke.
👍