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Did Ted Cruz eat a booger during the Republican Debate?

Updated on

Talking to a friend of mine who is a big Ted Cruz fan:

Me: “Hey, you must be happy Ted Cruz won big yesterday.”

Him: “Yeah…I guess so.”

Me: “You don’t sound very thrilled. I thought you’re Cruz’ biggest fan.”

Him: “Maybe…”

Me: “Wait, you’re not changing your mind because of that booger incident during the debate, are you?”

Him: “It was disgusting! I can’t vote for someone that ate a booger! Think of the leader of our country shaking hands with dignitaries and people!”

Me: “Or kissing a baby!”

Him: “Eww… gross! I’m outta here. Going home to take a shower.”

As my friend leaves, I call out: “All Republicans eat boogers! Look it up on Wikipedia!”

Thank you Wikipedia for allowing people to update your web pages!

Did Ted Cruz eat a booger during the Republican Debate?  👍

Funny things about that Government Shutdown

Updated on

Why are people so complacent about the government shutdown?

Because the Internet replaced torches and pitchforks.

C’mon people! Let’s go Frankenstein on them!

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I received this message from a Republican politician:

“Dear citizen. I am sorry I failed you. I did my best to take away your health care and your government contracting job. Next time I initiate a government shutdown, I’ll do better by not only taking away your health care and job, but I will also burn down your house and eat your baby.

Please forgive me, and vote for me again on the next election. Don’t hesitate to contact me if you’d like me to do you any more favors.

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood Republican.”

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Some blond on Fox “News” commented regarding the government shutdown: “What would Ronald Reagan do?”

Nothing! Because he’s dead. Get over it, and move on with your blond life.

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During the government shutdown, I had to supplement my income, and I did some things which I’m ashamed of. So please do not buy these movies:

“Danny Does Daly City” and “The Sexy Trampoline”.

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Hey, Republicans! Darth Vader called, and he wants his evil back.  👍