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I was at a baseball game when a huge argument started right behind me between these two guys who were insulting each other. One guy said something bad about the other guy’s mother, then the other guy called him a Nazi. Then it went too far, and a fist fight broke out because one guy called the other guy a CEO for a health insurance company.
The horror! The horror! While listening to this, my cat committed suicide, and my dog bit me! I can’t call her a bad singer, because she doesn’t even qualify as a singer! She sounds like a horrible hurricane!
I can’t believe that a human being can be worse than bagpipes!
You shouldn’t forward this link to anyone! It can be harmful to children! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfZvHuh7wKM
Kid wins Rubik’s Cube contest in record time! But he was later disqualified for using WD-40. His mother was also ousted from contest after testing positive for steroids.
Judge: “She beat me real bad, man. She beat me real bad…I think I’m in love.”
I normally drink decaf. For some reason today, I tried caffeinated coffee. I was climbing the walls, literally! People at the office were yelling at me to get down from the ceiling. I yelled back: “I don’t want to get down! I’m Spiderman!”
They got my sister to call me all the way from Israel to talk me down. She reminded me that I like Batman, not Spiderman. Eventually, someone threw a bottle of water to me, I drank it down, feel better, but there’s a feeling of awkwardness now at the office. Happy Friday the 13th. Don’t do drugs.
Here’s me. 3 days after the last game ever at Candlestick Park, with the security guard still trying to pull me out of the stadium.My arms are getting weary. Can someone please bring me some spinach, and maybe a cup of water?
So who’s with me? Who wants to join me, and show those greedy owners who the real 49ers fans are?
Stay 49ers! Stay 49ers! Stay 49ers!
Did you hear about the new soap opera? It’s the most popular ever. It’s called Facebook!