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They really make you feel like a pro football player at the Super Bowl experience, here in Super Bowl City! The moment you walk through the entrance, a 350 pound lineman tackles you to the ground. That was great! There were thousands of teeth everywhere! I also enjoyed being yelled out by an angry coach for no reason, while he was scratching his nails on the chalkboard.
My favorite part was being spanked by a cheerleader… oh, actually that was somewhere else, never mind.
Most people assume that milking a cow is a relaxing thing. But imagine if the cow resists. Chasing the cow across the field, tackling it down to the dewy grass, trying to squirt some milk into a glass bottle while the cow struggles. Just a thought.
Hey, maybe this could be a Geico commercial: “You’re a rebel cow. Unlike other cows, you resist and struggle in giving up your milk. It’s what you do.”
When I was a kid, they told us that in the future, we would have flying cars.
But instead, we got this:
Ordering sandwich at the deli:
Me: “What is corned beef?”
Deli-meister: “It’s a beef that has been cured.”
Me: “Cured?!”
Deli-meister: “Yes, for example, today’s beef was suffering from chicken-pox. After 2 weeks of rest, it is now cured. We also have a special pastrami that was suffering from a broken leg. It should be fully recovered and ready by tomorrow.”
Me: “Hmm…”
Deli-meister: “Next week we have a very special pastrami that should be fully recovered from malaria.”
Me: “I think I’ll have the salad.”
I order 6 coffees at Starbucks, one after the other.
I like hearing someone call out my name.