Talking to a friend of mine who is a big Ted Cruz fan:
Me: “Hey, you must be happy Ted Cruz won big yesterday.”
Him: “Yeah…I guess so.”
Me: “You don’t sound very thrilled. I thought you’re Cruz’ biggest fan.”
Him: “Maybe…”
Me: “Wait, you’re not changing your mind because of that booger incident during the debate, are you?”
Him: “It was disgusting! I can’t vote for someone that ate a booger! Think of the leader of our country shaking hands with dignitaries and people!”
Me: “Or kissing a baby!”
Him: “Eww… gross! I’m outta here. Going home to take a shower.”
As my friend leaves, I call out: “All Republicans eat boogers! Look it up on Wikipedia!”
Thank you Wikipedia for allowing people to update your web pages!
They really make you feel like a pro football player at the Super Bowl experience, here in Super Bowl City! The moment you walk through the entrance, a 350 pound lineman tackles you to the ground. That was great! There were thousands of teeth everywhere! I also enjoyed being yelled out by an angry coach for no reason, while he was scratching his nails on the chalkboard.
My favorite part was being spanked by a cheerleader… oh, actually that was somewhere else, never mind.
Most people assume that milking a cow is a relaxing thing. But imagine if the cow resists. Chasing the cow across the field, tackling it down to the dewy grass, trying to squirt some milk into a glass bottle while the cow struggles. Just a thought.
Hey, maybe this could be a Geico commercial: “You’re a rebel cow. Unlike other cows, you resist and struggle in giving up your milk. It’s what you do.”

Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
July 15, 2026
Mayes Oyster House
San Francisco
Comedy Showcase at Bazaar Café with Danny Dechi & Friends!
July 17, 2026
Bazaar Café
San Francisco
Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
July 22, 2026
Mayes Oyster House
San Francisco
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