The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type any given text.
And that’s how we got the Bible.
I mistakenly bought cough drops that make you cough.
So, if any of you out there want to cough, let me know so that I can send these to you.
My digital slow cooker talked back to me today:
“I’m not a slow cooker!
You’re a slow cooker!”
What did one computer chip say to the other computer chip?
Hey, you want to go out for a byte?

Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
February 11, 2026
Mayes Oyster House
San Francisco
Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
February 18, 2026
Mayes Oyster House
San Francisco
Comedy Showcase at Bazaar Café with Danny Dechi & Friends!
February 20, 2026
Bazaar Café
San Francisco
What you said