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Birth in mid-air

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She actually gave birth in mid-air, halfway over the fence.
They’re looking at the instant replay to see if there was possession on, or before the border line.

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Music Nowadays

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When I was a kid, old people would tell me: “Hey, turn that down! Your music’s too loud!”
Now that I’m grown up, I tell youngsters: “What is this? A poetry reading? Your music’s too soft!”
What happened?

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Moby Dick

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I recently learned that Abraham Lincoln was not in the movie Moby Dick.
I also learned that Captain Ahab was not kinky. He just happened to get tied to a sperm whale. There was nothing more to it than that.

My Fox News Audition

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Hey, I have an audition to be a Fox News reporter! How’s this?
“Today, the great and shirtless leader Vladimir Putin baked a cake for everyone in the United States.
Plus, a frog accidentally swallows a Police Station. Details at 11, on Fox News.”
So, do you think I’ll get the job?

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