If anyone needs an appendicitis operation, I have a Groupon.
It’s good at any hospital, expires next weekend.
Cashier: “Have a nice day.”
Me: “Hey, don’t tell me what to do!”
Cashier: “Security!”
Anything can be fixed with a little bit of forced tickling.
What did one tree say to the other tree?
“No, we can’t go there.
Sign says ‘No Trespassing’.”
Wouldn’t it be great that instead of wars, we can solve problems with: “I know you are, but what am I?”

Comedy Showcase at Bazaar Café with Danny Dechi & Friends!
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45th Annual Comedy Day at Golden Gate Park!
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Most Best Open Mic at KALW 91.7FM Bay Area!
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What you said