Tag Archives: funny
Talking to a friend of mine who is a big Ted Cruz fan:
Me: “Hey, you must be happy Ted Cruz won big yesterday.”
Him: “Yeah…I guess so.”
Me: “You don’t sound very thrilled. I thought you’re Cruz’ biggest fan.”
Him: “Maybe…”
Me: “Wait, you’re not changing your mind because of that booger incident during the debate, are you?”
Him: “It was disgusting! I can’t vote for someone that ate a booger! Think of the leader of our country shaking hands with dignitaries and people!”
Me: “Or kissing a baby!”
Him: “Eww… gross! I’m outta here. Going home to take a shower.”
As my friend leaves, I call out: “All Republicans eat boogers! Look it up on Wikipedia!”
Thank you Wikipedia for allowing people to update your web pages!
Honey is the only food that includes all substances necessary to sustain life, including enzymes, vitamins, minerals, and water; and it’s the only food that contains “pinocembrin”, an antioxidant associated with improved brain functioning.
In an unusual experiment, two grads from University of Cleveland immersed a dinosaur fossil into honey, remarkably causing the dinosaur to revive and become whole again! Unfortunately, upon learning what has become of the world, the dinosaur became despondent. It got a job at Dairy Queen so that it could afford to buy a used van, then took to the highest mountain in Ohio, and drove the van straight off a cliff. The current official extinction date of dinosaurs is now 1997 A.D.
Another fun fact from Mr. Science.
In the 1700s before modern technology, the only material available that was thin enough to make contact lenses, was the onion peel. The burn took a few weeks to wear off, hence the term “Town Crier”.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
For millions of years a lonely sponge, no bigger than a meatloaf, rested in the middle of a hot dessert.
As the Earth evolved, oceans shifted, immersing this sponge, thereby expanding it into what we know as today…Australia!
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science
Did you know that the last of the dinosaurs went down with the Titanic?
Another fun fact from Mr. Science.
They really make you feel like a pro football player at the Super Bowl experience, here in Super Bowl City! The moment you walk through the entrance, a 350 pound lineman tackles you to the ground. That was great! There were thousands of teeth everywhere! I also enjoyed being yelled out by an angry coach for no reason, while he was scratching his nails on the chalkboard.
My favorite part was being spanked by a cheerleader… oh, actually that was somewhere else, never mind.