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I showed the waitress my 10% coupon. So, she takes 10% off my bill, but she also removed 10% of my meal. I wish she didn’t take the drumstick.
Whenever someone gives me a compliment, I punch them in the stomach.
Someone told me that I should audition for American Idle.
Barista asks me if I’d like room for cream in my coffee.
I say: “No, but can you leave room for my cheeseburger? Because I live in the fast lane, baby!”
Someone just explained to me what Good Friday is.
My goodness!
I wouldn’t want to know what Bad Friday is!
Boss: “You’re doing a great job, Danny!”
Danny: “Thank you, sir!”
Boss: “April Fools!”