Contestant at The Gong Show

The Saber Dance Song plays while he gulps down a tall glass of milk.
Contestant: “Ta da!”
Judges: “So you drank a glass of milk. What’s the big deal?”
Contestant: “I’m lactose intolerant.”
Judges: “Security!”

  Like!

Who’s on first?

The Cleveland Indians were here before the Minnesota Vikings.

  Like!

Too much PC

Everything is so PC nowadays. I remember before it was shortened, the old saying was:
“Don’t cry over spilled milk, or I’ll punch you in the face.”

  Like!

Give up our seat on the bus to little kids?

Do we need to give up our seat on the bus to little kids? Aren’t they young enough to handle standing on the bus? When I was a little kid, no one gave me their seat. Carrying bags of groceries… Continue reading

  Like!

Family in Argentina

I’m back home after visiting family in Argentina.
Great to be with them, but wow, they’re always feeding me!
I felt like I was on a cruise ship, that’s been commandeered by a Jewish mother!

  Like!

Airbnb will no longer allow motorcycles…

Note: Airbnb will no longer allow motorcycles to be driven in living rooms or kitchens.
No explanation given.

  Like!

Yom Kippur on a Sabbath?!

This year Yom Kippur falls on a Sabbath?!
Oy vey, no eating or electricity on a weekend?!
We struggled for this?!
(By the way, that’s a lot of questions answering questions, also known as Jewish Haiku.)

  Like!

Religion lost me at…

Religion lost me after that story about the talking snake. Maybe if they used a parrot, I might have stuck around a little longer. But eventually, religion would’ve lost me anyway, trying to explain how Noah found two penguins in… Continue reading

  Like!

Wonder Woman never had an invisible airplane

Wonder Woman never had an invisible airplane.
Sometimes she would fly sitting down, just to punk everybody.
Another Fun fact from Mr. Science.

  Like!

The first frozen embryo

The first frozen embryo had health complications.
The subject grew up to become Mr. Freeze.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.

  Like!

Coming up!

Showing page 1 of 4 Next

  • Radio Ha Ha
    November 23, 2017
    FCC Free Radio
    Worldwide Podcast

      Like!

  • Free! Variety Show and Dinner!
    November 24, 2017
    Saint John the Evangelist Church
    San Francisco

      Like!

  • Sunday Funnies at Kawika’s Ocean Beach Deli!
    November 26, 2017
    Kawika's Ocean Beach Deli
    San Francisco

      Like!


See all shows >>

Mailing List!



Email Format

Buy my Book!


"It's so FUNNY that you may need to wear diapers!"
"It's HILARIOUS!"
"Two thumbs UP! WAY UP!"
(Says Roger Ebert Impersonator)
"AAACK! It's all true!"
(Says Danny's Girlfriend)

Swag Bag

There are no items in your cart.