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I dropped my smartphone in water, so as recommended, I buried the phone into a bag of rice.
But I forgot all about it, and ended up having smartphone fried rice for dinner.
If animals were distracted by smartphones as much as we are, they would be extinct by now.
👍Door at a Zen Center, rather than being labeled “Push” or “Pull”, it read: “It doesn’t matter”.
👍I showed the waitress my 10% coupon. So, she takes 10% off my bill, but she also removed 10% of my meal. I wish she didn’t take the drumstick.
👍Whenever someone gives me a compliment, I punch them in the stomach.
👍Someone told me that I should audition for American Idle.
👍Barista asks me if I’d like room for cream in my coffee.
I say: “No, but can you leave room for my cheeseburger? Because I live in the fast lane, baby!”