Tag Archives: funny
1. Corporations are not people! They don’t even have any DNA! So, corporations are neither people, or animals, or vegetables.
2. Money is not free speech! Just like apples are not free speech, neither are cats, mountains, tires, pancakes, and rectal thermometers!
Besides, the instant that MONEY becomes part of the equation, then FREE goes out the window!
That’s like saying: “Hey Marge, did you know that Steve enjoys punching babies? That means he’s going to be a wonderful parent, right?
It was a complete failure when sea shells were first used as hearing aids, but it somehow led to the creation of Salt Water Taffy.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
Question: When making beer battered fish, do you use a full beer bottle or an empty one?
When first discovered, pineapples were used as bricks to build homes. Until the man known only as the Polynesian “Sir Isaac Newton”, discovered that pineapples are edible. Word got out all over the world of this delicious new fruit. People ate entire homes, and they didn’t miss their pineapple homes, because many were pricked by the prickly spines when they wandered around their dark rooms at night. Eventually sugar canes were a good substitute for building homes.
Hence the term: “Eating out of house and home”.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
He: “I’m Druff. Daniel Druff.” Me: “May I call you Dan… “He: “No.”
Have a cold? Did you know that a single punch to the stomach produces 500 milligrams of Vitamin C in your body?
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
A friend says to me: “May I be brutally honest with you?”
I say: “Sure.”
Then he beats me up.
Another friend says to me: “May I be brutally frank with you?”
I say: “Sure.”
Then he beats me up with a frozen package of frankfurters.
Honesty is not always the best policy.
I have seen all of the previous Batman and Superman movies, even though I didn’t expect them to be good, but I will not watch the latest Batman vs. Superman. Just from watching the movie trailer, I can see that this movie is bad and doesn’t come close to representing the real Batman and Superman, or any of the other DC characters.
Creators of this movie used Batman and Superman characters as an excuse to make up some story whose characters could have easily been replaced with Donald Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell. They figured by just throwing a couple of capes onto the screen, millions will flock to see this misrepresentation.
They try tempting me with an Amazon wielding rope, but I still won’t shell out money for this sham. Only way I might possibly watch it, is when it comes out on network TV during a Christmas Special.