You are here: Funny
Whenever someone gives me a compliment, I punch them in the stomach.
Someone told me that I should audition for American Idle.
Barista asks me if I’d like room for cream in my coffee.
I say: “No, but can you leave room for my cheeseburger? Because I live in the fast lane, baby!”
Someone just explained to me what Good Friday is.
My goodness!
I wouldn’t want to know what Bad Friday is!
Boss: “You’re doing a great job, Danny!”
Danny: “Thank you, sir!”
Boss: “April Fools!”
Kellyanne: “Honey, we have lasagna for dinner, tonight.”
Husband: “But this is pizza!”
-“Why do people eat the head of the chocolate bunny first?”
-“Because that way, the bunny doesn’t struggle while you eat the rest of it.“