Tonight’s WWF match was cancelled because they ran out of folding chairs!
Tonight’s WWF match was cancelled because they ran out of folding chairs!

Hi! You all know me as cartoon legend Fred Flintstone. You know, living in the stone age is really not fun and laughs as has been portrayed in my cartoons. That’s all Hollywood. Just like in those beer commercials, with all those sexy people having good times, but what actually happens with alcohol is, you lose friends for being a jerk, you can lose your job, and wind up dying alone in the wilderness. Hey, that pretty much sums up the stone age! Anyway, living in the stone age is quite the opposite of fun. You have to put up with elephants hogging up the whole lake and doing any disgusting thing that they want in it, there’s no healthcare, and if you want something done for your tribe, there’s no government to help you. You are all on your own. And this is what Republicans want, to bring back the stone age, except for themselves. I much rather live like the Jetsons, don’t you? So, please vote BLUE on November 3rd, so we can get all of those stinking elephants out of the lake. I’m Fred Flintstone’s stunt double, and I approve of this message.
Last night at Chinese restaurant, my fortune cookie read:
“Congratulations, your new wife is in our kitchen.”
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I went to Walgreens to look for a map.
They said: “We have one left, just for you, in the losers section, next to Pokémon slippers.”
How about making Doubles Tennis a bit more exciting? Instead of having both players from same team playing on same side of court, have players from opposing teams play on same side of court. I would call this Tackle Tennis.
Watched a drug commercial:
“We say ‘bleeding’ in our commercials, less times than the other guys”.

Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
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