There’s a new, more secure smartphone. It uses fart recognition. Although, it doesn’t work if you ate clams.
There’s a new, more secure smartphone. It uses fart recognition. Although, it doesn’t work if you ate clams.
New BDSM Smartphone!
It has, slap in the face recognition.
Old salmon at fish farm: βYou youngsters have it so easy nowadays, wading in this pool. When I was your age, we had to always swim up river, trying to avoid the rocks and hungry bears, in the snow! Do you guys even know how to swim? Youβre just floating around like some cucumber, always staring at your smartphones. What are you going to do if the electric eel, that powers your phones goes away? And you know, SpongeBob isnβt real!β
I dropped my smartphone in water, so as recommended, I buried the phone into a bag of rice.
But I forgot all about it, and ended up having smartphone fried rice for dinner.
If animals were distracted by smartphones as much as we are, they would be extinct by now.
Big Tech convention in San Francisco this week.
So many pedestrians on their smartphone.
I feel like the Millennium Falcon dodging through an asteroid field.
Parents nowadays quiet their noisy kids by giving each one a smartphone.
When I was a kid, we didn’t have smartphones.
Our parents kept us quiet with a brick to the head.
Parents nowadays quiet their noisy kids by giving each one a smartphone.
When I was a kid, we didn’t have smartphones. Our parents kept us quiet with a brick to the head.

Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
November 19, 2025
Mayes Oyster House
San Francisco
Comedy Showcase at Bazaar CafΓ© with Danny Dechi & Friends!
November 21, 2025
Bazaar CafΓ©
San Francisco
Doctors! Teachers! Rock ‘n Roll! Comedy Show! Online!
November 24, 2025
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