At Olive Garden, we treat you like family.
Me: “Um, next week I’ll be at, uh…Applebee’s.”
OG: “Oh my God! You’re breakin’ my heart! Take me now, Lord! Take me now!”
At Olive Garden, we treat you like family.
Me: “Um, next week I’ll be at, uh…Applebee’s.”
OG: “Oh my God! You’re breakin’ my heart! Take me now, Lord! Take me now!”
At Olive Garden, we treat you like family.
Me: “Please don’t do that.”
There’s a restaurant chain called Pollo Loco. But if I want to open up a restaurant called Mad Cow, people say, “Oh, no! You can’t do that!”
Jean-Baptiste Donatien de Vimeur, comte de Rochambeau, French nobleman and soldier who participated in the American Revolutionary War.
A pacifist, Rochambeau won all of his battles with his irresistible challenge of Rock-Paper-Scissors.

Not tonight, dear.
You are a headache.
Busy Philipps was probably named by her father.
Guy: “Hi gorgeous. I’m Steve.”
Busy: “I’m Busy.”
Dejected guy walks away.

The Trump presidency seems like one long scene of adult swim.

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