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You can practice religion all you want, but you’ll never get it right.
I got a rescue dog, but I had to return it because it kept giving me mouth to mouth while I was sleeping.
Oh, no! I don’t know what to do next!
I threw up in my bucket list!
Would anyone like to have a Yoko Ono alarm clock, that I won in a raffle?
There’s a new, more secure smartphone. It uses fart recognition. Although, it doesn’t work if you ate clams.
They say ‘Knowledge is power’.
But so is stupidity.
