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Vapers

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Hey vapers, when you were a kid, did you want to grow up to be a choo-choo train or an industrial smokestack?

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Cartoons

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I think the old cartoons are more ethical than contemporary cartoons.
Back then, characters got blown up, thrown off cliffs, had anvils dropped on their head, smashed in the face with various objects, and set on fire.
But at least no one was ever punched in the stomach.

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Marshmallow

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Try this at work:
“Hey, Dave. I saw a bunch of people hanging around your desk, and they had marshmallows.
I think your desk is on fire.”

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I went to the optometrist…

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Went to the optometrist today, and I found out that my vision gets blurry when punched in both eyes. So the doctor prescribed me to wear his prescription safety goggles.
After leaving his office, I noticed that I needed an adjustment to the goggles. Doctor told me to come to his other office the next day, at the meat processing plant.
He only accepts money orders delivered by his own carrier pigeon. I think he’s a germophobe.
And that’s my review.