Remember, tickling fixes everything.
Life is like basketball.
Don’t blame the ball if you can’t score.
Hey guys, you think you’re supporting women’s rights just because you let her hold the remote control.
When in a restaurant in Rome, would it be offensive to order a Caesar salad?
Today is the 50th Anniversary of July 18, 1969.
By coincidence, tomorrow is the 50th Anniversary of July 19th, 1969.
A train leaves New York for Boston, 200 miles away, at 3:00 P.M. and averages 70 mph. Another train leaves Boston for New York on an adjacent set of tracks at 4:00 P.M. and averages 55 mph. What are the conductors names?
My spirit animal is the Gummy Bear.
I come from an unfunctional family. It’s similar to dysfunctional family, but quieter.

Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
May 27, 2026
Mayes Oyster House
San Francisco
Comedy Showcase Tony Sparks, Danny Dechi and Benjamin Steinberg!
May 27, 2026
The Lost Church
San Francisco
Most Best Open Mic at KALW 91.7FM Bay Area!
May 29, 2026
KALW 91.7FM
San Francisco
What you said