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Me: “Waiter, why are there holes in my milk?”
Waiter: “Didn’t you ask for hole milk?”
Don’t forget New Laws for New Year: Everyone must like baseball. Everyone’s favorite color is now Magenta. You must show ID, if you want pineapple on your pizza. All Parking Meters must show your weight. All Clowns must also be happy on the inside.
👍I hope I’m not in trouble. I accidentally spilled some olive oil on the pavement, while The Flash was on his way doing super hero stuff. He seems to be okay.
Car Rental place:
Staff: “We only have one car left.”
Me: “Okay.”
Staff: “But it’s on fire…do you still want it?”
Me: “Okay, if you provide the marshmallows.”
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The Impossible Burger. If it’s good, it’s Impossible.
👍Bought a Smoke Sensor, but I mistakenly got the Kosher model. So, the alarm sounds off whenever I fry bacon.
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