People are so sensitive, nowadays. They just say: “Have a nice day”, instead of the original: “Have a nice day, or I’ll punch you in the face”.
People are so sensitive, nowadays. They just say: “Have a nice day”, instead of the original: “Have a nice day, or I’ll punch you in the face”.
Magician: “For my first magic trick, I will make this bar of soap disappear, by simply rubbing it between my hands, under a stream of water from this faucet.
…um, this may take a while.“
Judge: “Get off the stage!”
When in a restaurant in Rome, would it be offensive to order a Caesar salad?
A train leaves New York for Boston, 200 miles away, at 3:00 P.M. and averages 70 mph. Another train leaves Boston for New York on an adjacent set of tracks at 4:00 P.M. and averages 55 mph. What are the conductors names?
My spirit animal is the Gummy Bear.
Chocolate does not melt on Tuesdays.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
I come from an unfunctional family. It’s similar to dysfunctional family, but quieter.
Domino’s advertises their Hand Tossed Pizza, but there’s no mention of Hand Caught Pizza!

Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
April 29, 2026
Mayes Oyster House
San Francisco
Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
May 6, 2026
Mayes Oyster House
San Francisco
Stand-up Comedy every Wednesday at SF Mayes Oyster House!
May 13, 2026
Mayes Oyster House
San Francisco
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