Tag Archives: joke
Question: When making beer battered fish, do you use a full beer bottle or an empty one?
When first discovered, pineapples were used as bricks to build homes. Until the man known only as the Polynesian “Sir Isaac Newton”, discovered that pineapples are edible. Word got out all over the world of this delicious new fruit. People ate entire homes, and they didn’t miss their pineapple homes, because many were pricked by the prickly spines when they wandered around their dark rooms at night. Eventually sugar canes were a good substitute for building homes.
Hence the term: “Eating out of house and home”.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
Have a cold? Did you know that a single punch to the stomach produces 500 milligrams of Vitamin C in your body?
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
A friend says to me: “May I be brutally honest with you?”
I say: “Sure.”
Then he beats me up.
Another friend says to me: “May I be brutally frank with you?”
I say: “Sure.”
Then he beats me up with a frozen package of frankfurters.
Honesty is not always the best policy.
Talking to a friend of mine who is a big Ted Cruz fan:
Me: “Hey, you must be happy Ted Cruz won big yesterday.”
Him: “Yeah…I guess so.”
Me: “You don’t sound very thrilled. I thought you’re Cruz’ biggest fan.”
Him: “Maybe…”
Me: “Wait, you’re not changing your mind because of that booger incident during the debate, are you?”
Him: “It was disgusting! I can’t vote for someone that ate a booger! Think of the leader of our country shaking hands with dignitaries and people!”
Me: “Or kissing a baby!”
Him: “Eww… gross! I’m outta here. Going home to take a shower.”
As my friend leaves, I call out: “All Republicans eat boogers! Look it up on Wikipedia!”
Thank you Wikipedia for allowing people to update your web pages!