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Marijuana turns you into a baby

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Isn’t bad enough already that we have to put up with other stupid habits like tobacco, alcohol, and religion?!

Here’s my take on legalizing marijuana: It’s bad enough we already have to put up with those stinking cigarettes. And then we also have to put up with people who drink too much alcohol and get stupid. But with marijuana, we have to put up with both the stinking smoke and the stupid person all in one, plus they get hungry, so pot smokers basically wind up being like a baby. A stinking, stupid, hungry baby.

They say that marijuana gets you high. No it doesn’t. This is high: “Yay, my team just won the Super Bowl!” or “Wow, I just got laid by 20 cheerleaders at once!” That’s high.

Marijuana gets you low, not high. Marijuana makes you say dumb things like: “Hi, refrigerator. You’re my coolest friend.” or “Hey, Dave. Look at my feet. They smell like the universe.”

They say: “How do you know you don’t like marijuana unless you try it?” Well I say: Why don’t you try eating jello with anchovies? How do you know you won’t like it unless you try it? Why don’t you staple your tongue to a pigeon? How do you know you won’t like it unless you try it?

And they say that pot smokers aren’t violent. Okay, pot smokers aren’t violent, but they cause people around them to be violent because we have to put up with a stinking, stupid, hungry baby.

News flash! A whole lot of people can’t stand the smell of pot!

Just like cigarettes and cigars, marijuana is also pollution. It’s like being in the middle of a skunk civil war! So, pot smokers, the only place you should be smoking marijuana, is straight up your stinking a##!

By the way, local news in San Francisco Bay Area reports how pot growers are stealing water from a children’s school, to the point that the school had to shut down for a while, and place locks on their water supply. And how pot growers are poisoning owls, because the owls are eating rats killed by rat poison spread by pot growers trying to protect their stinking crops. The pot industry will become as evil as the tobacco industry.

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Yay for Pollution!

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Yay! 4/20 is Pollution Day at Golden Gate Park! Let’s celebrate pollution! All the wildlife creatures must really be enjoying 4/20! Yay for Pollution! Although, it’s a shame that tobacco smokers are being discriminated from being part of this pollution festival.
San Francisco is No. 1 in pot smoking. Yay! We’re the biggest polluter of them all! But I already knew that, from experiencing the daily disgusting, nauseating, stench everywhere on the stinking streets of San Francisco.
Who wants to be like those stupid liberals, with their stupid clean air ideas? People want to be cool, like Republicans, eliminate the EPA, pollute all they want, and puff literally STINKING DRUGS into people’s faces. Now that is cool!
This city event had a few incidents. Police arrested 22 unicorns, 4 weed whackers, and a ham sandwich! News at 11.

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