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Tag Archives: funny

Thousands of years ago in Mesopotamia…

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Thousands of years ago in Mesopotamia, there was a boy named Nic, who enjoyed eating outside. All the other kids picked on Nic for that, and that’s how the word ‘picnic’ came about. Kids called him really bad names, such as “ostrich fart” and “aaaardvark whiskers” (originally, aardvark had four a’s).
 
Nic took revenge on the kids, by training ants to steal the kids toys for him. He rewarded the ants with garlic bread crumbs and asparagus.
 
This is why to this day, ants invade picnics, and think that everybody’s name is Nic.
 
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.

Contestant at The Gong Show

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The Saber Dance Song plays while he gulps down a tall glass of milk.
Contestant: “Ta da!”
Judges: “So you drank a glass of milk. What’s the big deal?”
Contestant: “I’m lactose intolerant.”
Judges: “Security!”

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Too much PC

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Everything is so PC nowadays. I remember before it was shortened, the old saying was:
“Don’t cry over spilled milk, or I’ll punch you in the face.”

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Give up our seat on the bus to little kids?

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Do we need to give up our seat on the bus to little kids? Aren’t they young enough to handle standing on the bus? When I was a little kid, no one gave me their seat. Carrying bags of groceries in both hands, the only way I could hang on was with my teeth on a pole, while as usual, some guy’s briefcase kept bouncing off my head. I chipped a few teeth, and one time I was foaming at the mouth, so I had to get a tetanus shot with a rusty needle, which is okay because that’s what tetanus shots are for, anyway.
So should I give up my seat to a little kid? Asking for a friend.

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