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New Year’s fireworks

Updated on January 2, 2022

The city couldn’t afford New Year’s fireworks, so instead, they just crashed Ford Pintos into walls.

Updated on January 2, 2022

I have no New Year’s Resolution, because everything I do is perfect!

Updated on January 2, 2022

Thought about making a popular board game a little more exciting.
So get ready for Tackle Scrabble!

Posted on January 2, 2022

How does that Xmas song go?
Is it: “Walking in the winter with no pants”?

Posted on December 24, 2021

At KFC, you pick any chicken you’d like, and we’ll choke the chicken in front of you.

Updated on December 24, 2021

I took one of those home Covid tests, but I don’t think they’re very accurate.
The result said negative and that I’m a jerk. Really?

Posted on December 24, 2021

-“You know, Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
-“Name me any city that was built in a day.”
-“Legoland.”

Updated on December 3, 2021

People are so sensitive, nowadays. They just say: “Have a nice day”, instead of the original: “Have a nice day, or I’ll punch you in the face”.

Posted on November 19, 2021

I got my flu shot, today. And they gave me $5. The nurses and I had a bet that I wouldn’t take the shot in the eye.
And I won!

Posted on October 26, 2021

Crazy weather here in San Francisco.
Tomorrow’s forecast, flying squirrels with scissors!