Tag Archives: funny
People, I don’t want you to think I’m sensitive, but when you talk to me, please pronounce my name with a capital “D”, not a lower case ” d”! Thank you.
If you mix a Harvey Wallbanger with a Rusty Nail, you can hang a picture.
When I was a kid, we didn’t have educational shows for kids, like Blues Clues, Barney the Dinosaur, and Sesame Street.
We got real education from Looney Toons and The Three Stooges. We learned that it’s a bad idea to put bowling balls on top shelve, and dynamite into ovens, and to not use a toaster while taking a bath.
Just saw a cop with a jet pack, stopping a witch for drinking while flying.
I tried the Impossible Burger. It tastes like spaghetti.
If you’d like to join the Danny Dechi fan club, you must first meet at Golden Gate Park under the next full moon. You will then proceed to walk through 2 rows of current members, who will beat you in their own special way. If you don’t whimp out, and are able to make it out the other end, you will then eat a live tarantula, howl at the moon, and pay a $50 membership fee. Milk & cookies and bandages will be served at the end of the initiation.
Good luck!
Danny Dechi
Old salmon at fish farm: “You youngsters have it so easy nowadays, wading in this pool. When I was your age, we had to always swim up river, trying to avoid the rocks and hungry bears, in the snow! Do you guys even know how to swim? You’re just floating around like some cucumber, always staring at your smartphones. What are you going to do if the electric eel, that powers your phones goes away? And you know, SpongeBob isn’t real!”
The following is my version of the classic poem “I shot an arrow into the air”:
I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
Maybe the kitchen,
Maybe the yard,
Maybe the tennis court,
No, that’s too far.
I shot an arrow into the sky,
Why I did it, I don’t know why;
Do I hate clouds,
Do I hate the sky,
No, I’m just mad,
‘cause I dropped my pie.
I shot an arrow into the air,
And by the way,
I’m just wearing,
No underwear.