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Inherent Vice
I didn’t know what the movie “Inherent Vice” was before I went to see it. After watching it, I still have no idea what the movie is about. I can’t count the number of times that I resisted from standing up, and yelling: “Will someone please tell me what this movie is about?!”
And it was so inherently boring. Even the sex scene was boring! This ‎movie consists of close-ups of various combinations of 2 people whispering to each other. It’s like watching a movie about people in a library! And if the dialogue was at a normal pace, this 2½ hour punishment would have been at least one hour shorter!
A woman gave birth during this movie, then the baby immediately ran out the door!
If your ‎inherent vice is utter boredom, then this movie is for you.
Boyhood
Saw the movie ‪Boyhood. I appreciate the effort of documenting a family for 12 years, but I already know that people grow up and do things. It was like watching one of those time lapse movies of a flower blooming, but minus the time lapse…and it was too blooming long!
Everyone knows that when you’re being filmed in a home movie, you try to ham it up a little, make it a little more entertaining. Apparently in this film, no one knew that the camera was on. No ham, and apparently no script.
You can avoid talking or using your smartphone in the movie theater, but how can you prevent snoring?
If you enjoy watching home movies about people that you don’t even know, then this movie is for you.
đź‘ŤApplicant: “Hello, I’m here to apply for the position, and I understand you have Veterans preference.”
Interviewer: “Yes, you’re a Veteran?”
Applicant: “Yes, sir.”
Interviewer: “How many years have you been a Veteran?”
Applicant: “15 years, sir.”
Interviewer: “Army? Navy? Air Force? Marines?”
Applicant: “Salvation Army, sir.”
Interviewer: “Security!”
Was so excited that Amazon convention was coming to San Francisco, but later disappointed that it was Amazon.comÂ
Darn, I was really hoping to meet Wonder Woman!
Recipes probably created by a guy:
Customer: “Excuse me, Chef. But this pasta is not completely cooked.”
Chef: “Oh, it’s fine, it’s Al dente!”
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Customer: “Excuse me, Chef. But this soup is totally cold.”
Chef: “Oh, it’s fine, it’s Gazpacho!”
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A guy also probably invented Goober (peanut butter & jelly in same jar), and Big Sausage Pizza.
I propose a new Proposition to increase the alphabet to 38 letters so that there can be more Propositions.
đź‘ŤTraditionally on Thanksgiving, the President pardons a turkey.
If Donald Trump becomes President, he will pardon a pumpkin.
It’s spice pumpkin season again! Everything is going orange, like coffee, pastries, pancakes, etc.
At a NYC Starbucks, an employee accidentally grabbed Donald Trump’s head, and almost shoved it into the blender!