Back to Top
 
 
 

Tag Archives: movie review

Danny’s Movie Reviews #2

Updated on

Inherent Vice

I didn’t know what the movie “Inherent Vice” was before I went to see it. After watching it, I still have no idea what the movie is about. I can’t count the number of times that I resisted from standing up, and yelling: “Will someone please tell me what this movie is about?!”

And it was so inherently boring. Even the sex scene was boring! This ‎movie consists of close-ups of various combinations of 2 people whispering to each other. It’s like watching a movie about people in a library! And if the dialogue was at a normal pace, this 2½ hour punishment would have been at least one hour shorter!

A woman gave birth during this movie, then the baby immediately ran out the door!

If your ‎inherent vice is utter boredom, then this movie is for you.

Boyhood

Saw the movie ‪Boyhood. I appreciate the effort of documenting a family for 12 years, but I already know that people grow up and do things. It was like watching one of those time lapse movies of a flower blooming, but minus the time lapse…and it was too blooming long!

Everyone knows that when you’re being filmed in a home movie, you try to ham it up a little, make it a little more entertaining. Apparently in this film, no one knew that the camera was on. No ham, and apparently no script.

You can avoid talking or using your smartphone in the movie theater, but how can you prevent snoring?

If you enjoy watching home movies about people that you don’t even know, then this movie is for you.

  👍

Batman vs. Superman movie review

Updated on

I have seen all of the previous Batman and Superman movies, even though I didn’t expect them to be good, but I will not watch the latest Batman vs. Superman. Just from watching the movie trailer, I can see that this movie is bad and doesn’t come close to representing the real Batman and Superman, or any of the other DC characters.

Creators of this movie used Batman and Superman characters as an excuse to make up some story whose characters could have easily been replaced with Donald Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell. They figured by just throwing a couple of capes onto the screen, millions will flock to see this misrepresentation.

They try tempting me with an Amazon wielding rope, but I still won’t shell out money for this sham. Only way I might possibly watch it, is when it comes out on network TV during a Christmas Special.

  👍

Danny’s Movie Reviews #1

Posted on

Theory of Everything

The only science I learned from that movie is that all men are pigs.

 

Jaws

I didn’t see that movie, because people should know that they shouldn’t be going in the water when there are sharks there. For example, what if there’s a movie called “House on fire”. Why would you want to watch a bunch of stupid people running into a burning house?

 

Y tu Mama Tambien

People do things. I get it.

  👍
Posted in Funny | Tagged , | 1 Reply