Danny Dechi Standup Comedy http://dannydechi.com Off-the-Wall Comedy! Thu, 03 Sep 2015 17:49:55 +0000 en hourly 1 ‪Crocodile Tears http://dannydechi.com/2015/09/02/%e2%80%aacrocodile-tears/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=%25e2%2580%25aacrocodile-tears http://dannydechi.com/2015/09/02/%e2%80%aacrocodile-tears/#comments Wed, 02 Sep 2015 16:24:56 +0000 http://dannydechi.com/?p=1945 Did you know that ‪‎alligators also shed ‪‎crocodile tears?

Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.

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Pluto – from Mr. Science http://dannydechi.com/2015/08/25/pluto-from-mr-science/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=pluto-from-mr-science http://dannydechi.com/2015/08/25/pluto-from-mr-science/#comments Tue, 25 Aug 2015 20:23:06 +0000 http://dannydechi.com/?p=1925 Pluto resides at the farthest end of our solar system, but also at the end of another adjacent solar system.

In order to maintain peace, both solar systems agreed to no longer recognize Pluto as a planet, and Jupiter as their sun.

 

Another fun fact from Mr. Science

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What is corned beef? http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/30/what-is-cured-beef/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-is-cured-beef http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/30/what-is-cured-beef/#comments Thu, 30 Jul 2015 20:27:35 +0000 http://dannydechi.com/?p=1900 Ordering sandwich at the deli:

Me: “What is corned beef?”

Deli-meister: “It’s a beef that has been cured.”

Me: “Cured?!”

Deli-meister: “Yes, for example, today’s beef was suffering from chicken-pox. After 2 weeks of rest, it is now cured. We also have a special pastrami that was suffering from a broken leg. It should be fully recovered and ready by tomorrow.”

Me: “Hmm…”

Deli-meister: “Next week we have a very special pastrami that should be fully recovered from malaria.”

Me: “I think I’ll have the salad.”

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http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/29/1892/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=1892 http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/29/1892/#comments Wed, 29 Jul 2015 20:00:01 +0000 http://dannydechi.com/?p=1892 When I was a kid, they told us that in the future, we would have flying cars.
But instead, we got this:

Smartphones

 

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Checkup at Kaiser http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/25/checkup-at-kaiser/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=checkup-at-kaiser http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/25/checkup-at-kaiser/#comments Sat, 25 Jul 2015 23:59:26 +0000 http://dannydechi.com/?p=1889 Today was my first time at Kaiser taking checkup lab tests.
Didn’t expect for one of the tests to be “Can you take a punch to the stomach”.

I think I’m in love with the nurse.

Thank you, Obamacare!

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Watching Donald Trump speak during Republican Presidential Debate http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/25/watching-donaldtrump-speak-during-republican-presidential-debate/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=watching-donaldtrump-speak-during-republican-presidential-debate http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/25/watching-donaldtrump-speak-during-republican-presidential-debate/#comments Sat, 25 Jul 2015 23:53:39 +0000 http://dannydechi.com/?p=1883 Bill-Hader-Spits-Drink-at-Kristen-Wiig-SNL

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Cow doesn’t want to give milk. http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/21/cow-doesnt-want-to-give-milk/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cow-doesnt-want-to-give-milk http://dannydechi.com/2015/07/21/cow-doesnt-want-to-give-milk/#comments Tue, 21 Jul 2015 16:09:52 +0000 http://dannydechi.com/?p=1880

Most people assume that milking a cow is a relaxing thing. But imagine if the cow resists. Chasing the cow across the field, tackling it down to the dewy grass, trying to squirt some milk into a glass bottle while the cow struggles. Just a thought.

 

Hey, maybe this could be a Geico commercial: “You’re a rebel cow. Unlike other cows, you resist and struggle in giving up your milk. It’s what you do.”

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Another fun fact from Mr. ‪‎Science.

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Mr. Science: Smartphones during Neanderthal age http://dannydechi.com/2015/04/27/mr-science-and-smartphones/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=mr-science-and-smartphones http://dannydechi.com/2015/04/27/mr-science-and-smartphones/#comments Mon, 27 Apr 2015 21:10:29 +0000 http://dannydechi.com/?p=1796 Smartphones are nothing new. During Neanderthal times, a villager by the name of Uug, who wanted to make smoke signals easier to use, invented the compact smoke signal apparatus, which could fit in the palm of the hand. Unfortunately, this invention was a safety hazard, causing men’s beards to catch on fire. Uug was banished from his tribe.

Uug was frustrated in living in such an unsophisticated world, and only eating pebbles for breakfast. So he built a spaceship that took him to the planet Krypton. The red sun from that solar system gave him super powers, and he became a super hero. But only one week later, Krypton exploded, and no one knows what became of Supperuug. Fortunately, Krypton’s tragedy gave Earth our own Superman, thank Rao.

Another fun fact from Mr. Science.

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Fun Fact from Mr. Science: Honey http://dannydechi.com/2015/04/21/fun-fact-from-mr-science-honey/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=fun-fact-from-mr-science-honey http://dannydechi.com/2015/04/21/fun-fact-from-mr-science-honey/#comments Tue, 21 Apr 2015 21:38:43 +0000 http://dannydechi.com/?p=1792 Honey is the only food that includes all substances necessary to sustain life, including enzymes, vitamins, minerals, and water; and it’s the only food that contains “pinocembrin”, an antioxidant associated with improved brain functioning.

In an unusual experiment, two grads from University of Cleveland immersed a dinosaur fossil into honey, remarkably causing the dinosaur to revive and become whole again! Unfortunately, upon learning what has become of the world, the dinosaur became despondent. It got a job at Dairy Queen so that it could afford to buy a used van, then took to the highest mountain in Ohio, and drove the van straight off a cliff. The current official extinction date of dinosaurs is now 1997 A.D.

Another fun fact from Mr. Science.

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