Hear Astronaut

If an astronaut is floating out in space, and no one is there to hear, will a tree fall on him?


Remember when nobody wanted to ride in a station wagon?

– Remember when nobody wanted to ride in a station wagon?
– But, my car is not a station wagon. It’s a CRV, or STD.
– Does your car have a trunk?
– No.
– Does your car have a… Continue reading


Buses with Artificial Intelligence

The City has equipped public buses with Artificial Intelligence.
The bus I rode on, broke down…and cried.


Smart Car

Does spitting on a Smart Car count as a car wash?
Asking for a friend who was recently fired from a car wash.


Preview of my new Silent Movie

Here’s a preview of my new Silent Movie: The Invisible Man Meets The Invisible Woman:


It’s freezing!

It’s freezing here, in San Francisco!
It never was this cold when Willie Brown was Mayor.


Tired of being a super hero

I’m tired of being a super hero. It’s time for somebody else to take over. So, I wrote Shazam on my Starbucks cup.


Trying to be a nice guy

Trying to be a nice guy today, I told a woman she has some schmutz on her forehead. She yells: “You are the Devil! The Devil!”


Husband and Wife

Husband: “I wear the pants in this family!”
Wife: “And I pull them down!”


Customer screams at the top of their lungs at a coffee shop.
Barista clarifies: “I said room for cream? Not scream.”


Coming up!

Showing page 1 of 4 Next

  • 2019 Funny Fest Tuesdays!
    April 23, 2019
    Neck Of The Woods
    San Francisco


  • Radio Ha Ha
    April 25, 2019
    FCC Free Radio
    Worldwide Podcast


  • Sunday Funnies at Kawika’s Ocean Beach Deli!
    April 28, 2019
    Kawika's Ocean Beach Deli
    San Francisco


See all shows >>

Mailing List!

Email Format

Buy my Book!

"It's so FUNNY that you may need to wear diapers!"
"Two thumbs UP! WAY UP!"
(Says Roger Ebert Impersonator)
"AAACK! It's all true!"
(Says Danny's Girlfriend)

Swag Bag

There are no items in your cart.