Uber Eats

Does Uber Eats mean you eat in the car?


Bar Mitzvah

Happy Bar Mitzvah. So now you’re a man? You can’t drive, you can’t drink, you can’t vote, you can’t go to R rated movies, you can’t shave, you can’t get married or even go on a date. Yeah, right. You’re a man now.


Looking for a Map

I went to Walgreens to look for a map.
They said: “We have one left, just for you, in the losers section, next to adult diapers.”


Superman crossing the street

Superman teaches his young Superson to cross the street.
They look left, no car coming.
They look right, no car coming.
As soon as they step into the street, a truck falls on top of them.
Superman look up to… Continue reading


Farm to Table restaurants

I went to one of those Farm to Table restaurants. I ordered the scrambled eggs special. Waiter brings over a chicken and paint shaker. Good thing I didn’t order a milk shake.



Sometimes I’m so desperate for a hug, that I go to a restaurant, and pretend that I’m choking.


What are those?

“What are those?”
“Reading glasses.”
“What if you don’t know how to read?


Want to see a movie?

HIM: Want to see a movie?
HER: Yeah, Yesterday.
HIM: Wow, you really do want to see a movie. What movie do you want to see Friday?
HER: Yesterday is Friday.
HIM: No, yesterday was Wednesday.
HER: No, Yesterday is… Continue reading


Swamp Thing

After hearing that DC Universe canceled his TV series, Swamp Thing used Roundup to commit suicide.


50th Anniversary of…

Today is the 50th Anniversary of June 18, 1969.
By coincidence, tomorrow is the 50th Anniversary of June 19th, 1969.


Coming up!

Showing page 1 of 4 Next

  • Stand-up Comedy Showcase with Danny Dechi & Friends at Neck Of The Woods!
    August 20, 2019
    Neck Of The Woods
    San Francisco


  • Radio Ha Ha
    August 22, 2019
    FCC Free Radio
    Worldwide Podcast


  • Sunday Funnies at Kawika’s Ocean Beach Deli!
    August 25, 2019
    Kawika's Ocean Beach Deli
    San Francisco


See all shows >>

Mailing List!

Email Format

Buy my Book!

"It's so FUNNY that you may need to wear diapers!"
"Two thumbs UP! WAY UP!"
(Says Roger Ebert Impersonator)
"AAACK! It's all true!"
(Says Danny's Girlfriend)

Swag Bag

There are no items in your cart.