Funny

She actually gave birth in mid-air, halfway over the fence.
They’re looking at the instant replay to see if there was possession on, or before the border line.

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Music Nowadays

When I was a kid, old people would tell me: “Hey, turn that down! Your music’s too loud!”
Now that I’m grown up, I tell youngsters: “What is this? A poetry reading? Your music’s too soft!”
What happened?

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It must be Halloween

It must be Halloween, because today I got an EEEEEEEEEEEEEE-mail!

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Halloween Costume

No, I’m not dressed up as
Harry Potter!
I’m Bill Gates!

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Moby Dick

I recently learned that Abraham Lincoln was not in the movie Moby Dick.
I also learned that Captain Ahab was not kinky. He just happened to get tied to a sperm whale. There was nothing more to it than that.

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Praying Mantis couple having an argument

Did you hear the one about the Praying Mantis couple having an argument?
The husband says: “Hey! You don’t have to bite my head o**”

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My Fox News Audition

Hey, I have an audition to be a Fox News reporter! How’s this?
“Today, the great and shirtless leader Vladimir Putin baked a cake for everyone in the United States.
Plus, a frog accidentally swallows a Police Station. Details at… Continue reading

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Note to self

Note to self: When giggling down the street because of something funny that popped into your head, make sure you’re wearing headphones, so people don’t think you’re crazy.

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How to end any conversation

Remember, you can always end any conversation by simply saying:
“Because that’s how I roll.”

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Rolling Pin

Today I learned that rolling pins may also be used for cooking.

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Coming up!

Showing page 2 of 4 Previous Next

  • Radio Ha Ha
    November 29, 2018
    FCC Free Radio
    Worldwide Podcast

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  • Mr. Science at The Marsh Theatre
    December 3, 2018
    The Marsh
    San Francisco

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  • Stand-up Comedy Showcase with Danny Dechi & Friends at Neck Of The Woods!
    December 4, 2018
    Neck Of The Woods
    San Francisco

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