Jobs website

Saw TV ad for one of those “Jobs” websites. One of the employers in the ad said, he’s looking for an employee who can take a punch.
I considered the position, but they only pay minimum wage.


Slow Wi-Fi

I got low-budget Internet service from Comcast.
Lately, my Wi-Fi has been slow, since the hamster broke a hip.


Is rolling on the ground and crying, considered as exercise?


Me: “Why are you hitting the dog with a tablet?”
Him: “Because they don’t make newspapers anymore.”


Thinking about going to a different dentist…

My current dentist wants to charge me extra for procedures I don’t need.
Last time he wanted to perform brain surgery.


Missing child…

After years, police finally find missing boy. They ask next door neighbor:
“All these years, you saw this child, but didn’t inform the police. Didn’t you know he was missing?!”
Neighbor: “I’m lactose intolerant.”


Holey War

Oh no! The donuts are fighting the bagels! It’s a holey war!



Go into a church and you see this giant, dead, bleeding Jesus hanging on the wall.
And these are the people complaining about Halloween.


I’m surprised that bacon hasn’t become a currency yet.

Happy Holidays!

It’s that time of the year, people.
Someone tried to steal my package, and I got a groin pull!


Coming up!

Showing page 2 of 4 Previous Next

  • Radio Ha Ha
    March 1, 2018
    FCC Free Radio
    Worldwide Podcast


  • Cobb’s Comedy Club Showcase!
    March 4, 2018
    Cobb's Comedy Club
    San Francisco


  • Afterburn Comedy Open Mic at The Depot SF
    March 7, 2018
    The Depot
    San Francisco


See all shows >>

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