I’m surprised that bacon hasn’t become a currency yet.

Happy Holidays!

It’s that time of the year, people.
Someone tried to steal my package, and I got a groin pull!


Something stinks

If somebody has garlic breath…oh, that’s bad!
But if some pot smoker’s breath smells like they just licked an angry skunk’s ass…that’s fine?


Kermit the Frog…

Kermit the Frog revealed today, his results from AncestryDNA:
22% = ping pong ball
44% = pool table
34% = Gumby


Did you hear about…

Did you hear about the ghost who committed suicide?
They donated his body to séance.


The day after Halloween

Telling people today:
“Dude, Halloween is over.”


Why they call it World Series

Some people complain why do they call it World Series, when it’s only played in the U.S..
Well, what about the Ms.Universe pageant?


Contestant at The Gong Show

The Saber Dance Song plays while he gulps down a tall glass of milk.
Contestant: “Ta da!”
Judges: “So you drank a glass of milk. What’s the big deal?”
Contestant: “I’m lactose intolerant.”
Judges: “Security!”


Who’s on first?

The Cleveland Indians were here before the Minnesota Vikings.


Too much PC

Everything is so PC nowadays. I remember before it was shortened, the old saying was:
“Don’t cry over spilled milk, or I’ll punch you in the face.”


Coming up!

Showing page 1 of 4 Next

  • Stand-up Comedy Showcase with Danny Dechi & Friends at Neck Of The Woods!
    December 12, 2017
    Neck Of The Woods
    San Francisco


  • Radio Ha Ha
    December 14, 2017
    FCC Free Radio
    Worldwide Podcast


  • 7th Annual Cobb’s Holiday Comedy Bash!
    December 17, 2017
    Cobb's Comedy Club
    San Francisco


See all shows >>

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