Funny

Is rolling on the ground and crying, considered as exercise?

Why…

Me: “Why are you hitting the dog with a tablet?”
Him: “Because they don’t make newspapers anymore.”

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Thinking about going to a different dentist…

My current dentist wants to charge me extra for procedures I don’t need.
Last time he wanted to perform brain surgery.

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Missing child…

After years, police finally find missing boy. They ask next door neighbor:
“All these years, you saw this child, but didn’t inform the police. Didn’t you know he was missing?!”
Neighbor: “I’m lactose intolerant.”

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Holey War

Oh no! The donuts are fighting the bagels! It’s a holey war!

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Church…

Go into a church and you see this giant, dead, bleeding Jesus hanging on the wall.
And these are the people complaining about Halloween.

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I’m surprised that bacon hasn’t become a currency yet.

Happy Holidays!

It’s that time of the year, people.
Someone tried to steal my package, and I got a groin pull!

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Something stinks

If somebody has garlic breath…oh, that’s bad!
But if some pot smoker’s breath smells like they just licked an angry skunk’s ass…that’s fine?

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Kermit the Frog…

Kermit the Frog revealed today, his results from AncestryDNA:
22% = ping pong ball
44% = pool table
34% = Gumby

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Coming up!

Showing page 1 of 4 Next

  • Stand-up Comedy Showcase with Danny Dechi & Friends at Neck Of The Woods!
    January 23, 2018
    Neck Of The Woods
    San Francisco

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  • Radio Ha Ha
    January 25, 2018
    FCC Free Radio
    Worldwide Podcast

      Like!

  • Sunday Funnies at Kawika’s Ocean Beach Deli!
    January 28, 2018
    Kawika's Ocean Beach Deli
    San Francisco

      Like!


See all shows >>

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