Author Archives: dannydd2
Did you know that most alligator bites occur on public buses?
And most crocodile bites happen in peoples homes while watching the Kardashians.
Another Fun fact from Mr. Science.
During the Middle Ages, before salt was invented, people flavored their food with dandruff. Bald people’s food was tasteless. This is how we got the term “Angry old man”.
Another fun fact from Mr. Science.
Talking to a friend of mine who is a big Ted Cruz fan:
Me: “Hey, you must be happy Ted Cruz won big yesterday.”
Him: “Yeah…I guess so.”
Me: “You don’t sound very thrilled. I thought you’re Cruz’ biggest fan.”
Him: “Maybe…”
Me: “Wait, you’re not changing your mind because of that booger incident during the debate, are you?”
Him: “It was disgusting! I can’t vote for someone that ate a booger! Think of the leader of our country shaking hands with dignitaries and people!”
Me: “Or kissing a baby!”
Him: “Eww… gross! I’m outta here. Going home to take a shower.”
As my friend leaves, I call out: “All Republicans eat boogers! Look it up on Wikipedia!”
Thank you Wikipedia for allowing people to update your web pages!
Bees formed local Union #747 soon after evolving from Pterodactyls. Queen bees are not permitted to become members of the Union.
In honor of bees, the first jumbo airplane was named 747.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
God: “Mother Nature! I said opposable, not disposable thumbs!”
Honey is the only food that includes all substances necessary to sustain life, including enzymes, vitamins, minerals, and water; and it’s the only food that contains “pinocembrin”, an antioxidant associated with improved brain functioning.
In an unusual experiment, two grads from University of Cleveland immersed a dinosaur fossil into honey, remarkably causing the dinosaur to revive and become whole again! Unfortunately, upon learning what has become of the world, the dinosaur became despondent. It got a job at Dairy Queen so that it could afford to buy a used van, then took to the highest mountain in Ohio, and drove the van straight off a cliff. The current official extinction date of dinosaurs is now 1997 A.D.
Another fun fact from Mr. Science.
Smartphones are nothing new. During Neanderthal times, a villager by the name of Uug, who wanted to make smoke signals easier to use, invented the compact smoke signal apparatus, which could fit in the palm of the hand. Unfortunately, this invention was a safety hazard, causing men’s beards to catch on fire. Uug was banished from his tribe.
Uug was frustrated in living in such an unsophisticated world, and only eating pebbles for breakfast. So he built a spaceship that took him to the planet Krypton. The red sun from that solar system gave him super powers, and he became a super hero. But only one week later, Krypton exploded, and no one knows what became of Supperuug. Fortunately, Krypton’s tragedy gave Earth our own Superman, thank Rao.
Another fun fact from Mr. Science.
During pre-historic times, carrots grew on trees, and were 15 to 25 feet long. They evolved to live underground in order to avoid those dinosaurs who were using the carrots to bat over the head of other dinosaurs.
Another fun fact from Mr. Science.
Pluto resides at the farthest end of our solar system, but also at the end of another adjacent solar system.
In order to maintain peace, both solar systems agreed to no longer recognize Pluto as a planet, and Jupiter as their sun.
Another fun fact from Mr. Science