Author Archives: dannydd2
The first racist loved red apples, but hated green apples. The village people called him “Ugg the Apple Racist” because in pre-historic times, everyone’s name was Ugg.
And that’s how middle names and last names were invented.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
Did you know that marshmallows are made from baby pandas?
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
Did you know that history’s first accident happened when a dinosaur slipped on a banana, then fell on 12 cavemen?
This is how court trials with 12 men in jury originated.
Another fun fact from Mr. Science
Last night’s Fortune Cookie:
“Your future wife is waiting for you…in our kitchen.”
Inherent Vice
I didn’t know what the movie “Inherent Vice” was before I went to see it. After watching it, I still have no idea what the movie is about. I can’t count the number of times that I resisted from standing up, and yelling: “Will someone please tell me what this movie is about?!”
And it was so inherently boring. Even the sex scene was boring! This movie consists of close-ups of various combinations of 2 people whispering to each other. It’s like watching a movie about people in a library! And if the dialogue was at a normal pace, this 2½ hour punishment would have been at least one hour shorter!
A woman gave birth during this movie, then the baby immediately ran out the door!
If your inherent vice is utter boredom, then this movie is for you.
Boyhood
Saw the movie Boyhood. I appreciate the effort of documenting a family for 12 years, but I already know that people grow up and do things. It was like watching one of those time lapse movies of a flower blooming, but minus the time lapse…and it was too blooming long!
Everyone knows that when you’re being filmed in a home movie, you try to ham it up a little, make it a little more entertaining. Apparently in this film, no one knew that the camera was on. No ham, and apparently no script.
You can avoid talking or using your smartphone in the movie theater, but how can you prevent snoring?
If you enjoy watching home movies about people that you don’t even know, then this movie is for you.
During cold & flu season, always change towels frequently. Did you know that in just 3 hours, a simple hand towel can accumulate up to 37 pounds of germs? It adds up if you pay for a laundry service.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
The Bible was originally written by Benjamin Franklin…as a joke.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
Neanderthals removed a bad tooth by tying it to a dinosaur’s tail. The tooth would always be successfully pulled out, but there was also a risk of the dinosaur eating the patient.
This is why to this day, people are instinctively afraid of dentists.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
It always takes longer to unwrap a CD than to listen to the entire album.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.
Applicant: “Hello, I’m here to apply for the position, and I understand you have Veterans preference.”
Interviewer: “Yes, you’re a Veteran?”
Applicant: “Yes, sir.”
Interviewer: “How many years have you been a Veteran?”
Applicant: “15 years, sir.”
Interviewer: “Army? Navy? Air Force? Marines?”
Applicant: “Salvation Army, sir.”
Interviewer: “Security!”