A journey through Excel, from the memoirs of Danny Dechi

Day 1 – Overtaken by my curiosity, I set sail on a journey to find out how far the Excel spreadsheet can be measured. Naturally, I begin with cell A1, then press the right arrow key, and I’m off to discover how far does the Excel spreadsheet go.

Day 5 – I’m fast approaching 50 letters to each column. Is this journey about to end?

Day 9 – I was prepared to end my quest at 50 letters per column, but alas, I blinked, and I am now at 80 letters per column.

Day 32 – Incredibly, the count has now reached several hundred letters per column. I regret not ending this journey of blank monotonous cells at 50 letters per column.

Curse you Excel! Tempting me, like Sirens alluring a Viking ship to its deadly end upon the rocks of a dark and violent sea. Knowing there will be a fateful end, but oblivious to when.

Day 157 – My beard is as long as my stench is strong. And my ear hairs…well you can imagine. My finger grows weary, but my determination remains strong, to find the end of this vast and fascinating Excel universe.

Day 212 – I ponder how my journey will end. Will I find the end of this great Excel universe, or will Excel find the end of me? I miss my family. Tell them I love them.


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